I think I've posted previously about how we are getting the money to build our extension but in case I haven't; basically we are selling some property we invested into that was supposed to be our pension plan. We didn't qualify for a disabled facilities grant because of having assets. The money raised from doing this though isn't enough to complete a build that has a 'quality-of-life' about it so we've had to fundraise as well. That isn't meant to sound like it's been an onerous task as people want to be generous and give anyway but sometimes when you're giving it's nice to be getting too and fundraising events such as the choir performance are excellent ways of doing this.
SO WHAT IS THE MONEY GOING TOWARDS?
In no particular order:
New beds - this is a major one because Andy can only use specialised beds now which the ccg provide for him but not taking into account his marital status, therefore I would have my own single bed but it wouldn't allow me to see or speak to him once we were in bed. After 30 months of not doing this already I really want to put an end to that. It also has good clinical reasons as I can see him and know if he needs help, very important when he's on the ventilator and cannot speak.
New bedroom furniture - having just trashed our old lot we need new stuff anyway but it also now has to be more suited to Andy's abilities so that he can see what clothing is available and have the autonomy over what he wears. It also needs to be able to hold enough medical equipment to look after him for a two day period, ( the rest being stored elsewhere) as well as our personal effects and 'stuff' and be organised in such a way that our privacy isn't invaded as we will have staff in and out of our own private area.
Garden landscaping - this is more than prettying up our garden, this is about making it suitable for Andy to get into the garden from the back of the house and not just for pleasure but also because it's his main fire escape route. This is likely to be sloped decking but I don't know at the moment.
Driveway - needs to be able to take my car, Andy's van and 2 staff cars. And to be able to move these cars around without having to make every car move every time!! It also needs to be wheelchair friendly so Andy can mobilise safely.
Appliances - having a new kitchen designed with Andy's needs and abilities in mind means we need new kitchen appliances, such as an integrated fridge freezer, built-in oven, separate hob and a tumble dryer.
All of this will mean Andy's return home will give him and us a future to look forward to, even if it's different to what we'd planned. It's always been about that and I will fight hard to ensure it remains about that.
At the beginning of the process, when I was talking to an OT and DFG lady I was made to feel that so long as Andy had a room stuck on the back of the house, with no regard to the knock-on effect of loosing family access to the garden (kids would've had to walk through his bedroom to get to the garden or out the front door and round the side) then that was a job well done. When I told her I planned to share that room with him she was gobsmacked.
I was offended, massively offended.
I was then determined to make sure that was never the case and having had to fight for Andy's space at the spinal cord injury centre she didn't stand a chance. Now, our desire to be reunited again is becoming a reality. Sadly, it's costing thousands and thousands but thanks to the generosity of everyone those above mentioned items are also looking to be a reality.
Yes, I'm looking forward to having a new home, new kitchen, new family space, new bedroom but I'd MUCH MUCH MUCH rather have my husband whom I married, my husband whom I'd planned on doing things with as we got older, my husband with a fully working body. My Andy.